tiada kata yang mampu saya terjemah
tapi yang nyata saya sunyi apabila dia hilang dari sisi
jika mampu, saya mahu pegang dia di sisi
tapi, yang nyata dia bukan hak milik hakiki

when my finger want to speak..

it was such a virus in my mind lately. a thing that can switch my mood easily. something that always make me feel terrible. and something that drive me crazy.

today, after a talk with somebody that very close to me, i think i had made the decision. but, it still not the final. maybe i'll change it while the time pass me by. i almost know what i want. but, i still need to consider certain things that may leave tattoos in my life IF, i ignore it.

nothing last forever. and maybe this is the only way. as i need to spend money for a very charming dress, as i need to stay awake to finish a very fantastic movie.. i need to sacrifice something to have something. maybe this is the best among the worst. if toad can change into a prince charming. why the worst thing can't be the best? who knows.

i'm posting this entry just to spell out what was playing in my brain. sometimes, it is more easier to spell it out rather than to speak it out.

warm hugs,

honey lemon

"hidup ini kadang-kala membosankan

tapi kita perlu juga teruskan

kita tiada pilihan"

**kata-kata yang saya keluarkan semasa final year. saya masih ingat... bersama roommate.. tensen dengan perangai seorang perempuan hipokrit.. apekah khabar roommate dan perempuan itu?

just wanna be honest for tonight. be honest to myself...
i'm not as cool as i thought. i'm not as good as i thought. i'm not a good daughter either. and i'm not a very good friend. yes.. that's what i am. sometimes, i'm enjoy bitching about others. lying to a friend just because i don't wanna hurt their feelings. trying to control my emotion but i just can't. i'm hurting people. at a point, i was the other woman in somebody's relationship and i know it, but i just don't wanna move.i'm holding inside my feeling. i'm not walk my word. i asked others to be brave, but i'm always be affraid. i'm telling you that i'm fine, but i'm hurt inside.

i just can't state everything in here because i'm not that brave. but yes.. i admit that i'm not as cool as i said, as you think.i'm weak. i'm a loser in many ways. i need a hand that can hold me, bring me back to the right track, to the cool lane, to the brighter world. i need your hand because i've choosed you to be my friends.